I just got back from Ibiza, where I celebrated a birthday with a community of people who, in different ways, have shaped each other's lives. There's something about being surrounded by laughter, connection, and shared memories that makes you think about what really matters.

Maybe it was the sea air, the music, or just the magic of being part of something bigger than yourself - but I couldn't shake the thought that community itself is a purpose.

If you've ever spent time in a Blue Zone (or at least read about them while eating chips on the couch), you'll know that one of the secrets to longevity isn't just kale smoothies or an active lifestyle - it's having a sense of purpose. And as we get older, that purpose shifts. We start caring less about climbing ladders (corporate or social) and more about creating spaces where people can come together. (Read more about the connection between longevity, Blue Zones and community here.)

We spend years chasing personal success, believing that fulfilment comes from what we achieve, collect, or own. But at some point, it becomes clear that life is more than about individual milestones - it's about the people we share them with.

That's when the focus starts to shift from getting to giving.  

The Shift - From Getting to Giving  

Remember your 20s? Life was all about accumulation - chasing degrees, promotions, and the perfect couch that somehow looked better in the showroom than in your living room. The idea was simple: if you just got the right job, the right apartment, and the right relationship, everything would magically fall into place.   

I had it all. An amazing career, a beautiful house, the perfect partner - but still, I was miserable. I was so caught up in achieving success and building a life that looked good on paper, but I had no idea how much I had sacrificed in the process. I was isolated, drowning in work, and for all the accomplishments, I felt completely alone.   

And then, if you're lucky, there's a moment when it clicks - when you realise that fulfilment doesn't come from what you accumulate but from what you give. The more you give, the more you get back. Not in material rewards, but in connection, meaning, and a sense of belonging that no career milestone or perfectly styled home can ever replace.

But you have to understand it, truly grasp it, for it to change you.  

At some point, fulfilment starts looking different. It's no longer about collecting experiences or trophies for the sake of having them—it's about who you're bringing along for the ride. We stop asking "What can I achieve?" and start wondering "What can I contribute?".

This is the essence of Ikigai, the Japanese concept of purpose. In the Blue Zones, those rare places where people live long, healthy lives, purpose is more than personal ambition. It's about community. In Okinawa, for example, elders don't wake up stressed about productivity levels or inbox zero - they wake up because someone needs them. They have roles in their families, neighbourhoods, and friend groups. Whether it's cooking, storytelling, or simply checking in on one another, they matter—not because of what they earn, but because of who they are to others. And that, it turns out, is one of the biggest secrets to a long and happy life.

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No, It's not just anecdotal!

Let's back this up with some research.

People who feel needed by their community experience lower levels of stress, better cognitive function, and even longer lifespans. In contrast, social isolation has been linked to increased risks of heart disease, depression, andeven dementia.  

And here's where it gets interesting: the healthiest, happiest people aren't necessarily those with the most wealth or the most individual success.

They're the ones embedded in strong, interdependent communities.

They aren't just receiving support; they're also giving it. That balance—knowing you're part of something bigger than yourself—is what makes all the difference.  

The Science of Giving (Yes, It's Proven)   

Helping others is surprisingly great for your brain. (Find the link to a Harvard article on the topic here.) 

Studies show that acts of generosity - whether it's time, effort, or emotional support -release dopamine and oxytocin, the same feel-good chemicals triggered by eating chocolate or petting a dog (but without the calories or fur cleanup).   

When we give, our stress levels decrease, our sense of purpose strengthens, and - perhaps most importantly - our sense of connection to others deepens. Research even suggests that people who actively help others live longer, healthier lives.It's why the phrase "helper's high" exists - because giving literally feels good on a biological level.

And the best part? It doesn't take grand gestures. You don't have to quit your job and dedicate your life to charity work. Small acts of generosity - whether that's helping a neighbour carry their groceries, checking in on a friend, or even just offering genuine presence and kindness - create ripples that go far beyond what we can see.  

Ikigai in Practice - The Joy of Being Needed

We tend to think of purpose as something grand - saving the world, writing a bestselling novel (still dreaming of that one), or at least finally figuring out how to fold a fitted sheet properly. But in the Blue Zones, purpose is often found in the small, everyday moments of community life.   

It's the grandmother who watches the neighbourhood kids while their parents work. It's the friend who always remembers birthdays and makes sure no one celebrates alone. It's the guy who organises game nights, ensuring there's always a place where people can come together and laugh.  

These roles may not come with titles or trophies, but they matter - sometimes even more than the big achievements we chase in our younger years. It turns out, the most meaningful parts of life aren't about individual success; they're about connection, belonging, and being needed by others.

How to Start Small

If this all sounds a little too deep, don't worry - Ikigai doesn't mean you need to move to a rural farm and start making your own cheese. Small shifts in perspective can create big changes in fulfilment.   

Think about your own community, however big or small it may be. Are there ways you can show up more? Could you offer help, even in tiny ways, without expecting anything in return?   

Check in on a friend who's been quiet lately. Make extra food and share it with a neighbour. Join a local group or, if that feels overwhelming, just actually go to the one you signed up for six months ago but never attended. Offer to help someone, just because.   

The funny thing is, the more you give, the more you get back - not in money, but in meaning.  

Let's Wrap This Up

At the end of the day, no one remembers how many emails you answered, how many promotions you got, or how meticulously you curated your social media aesthetic.

But they will remember how you made them feel.   

They will remember the conversations you had, the moments you showed up, and the small, quiet ways you made life better just by being there. Because in the grand scheme of things, belonging and giving back are more than just nice ideas—they are the foundation of a fulfilling life.

Maybe the ultimate purpose isn't about reaching a finish line at all. Maybe it's just about walking alongside others, sharing what we can, and realising that the greatest legacy isn't in what we take—but in what we give.   

And if that's not a reason to get up in the morning, I don't know what is.  

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Lots of love,

Stina (About me)

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