My name is Stina Stjärnström, and I've worked as an architect and civil engineer on some of Scandinavia's largest and most complex development projects for over twenty years. Recently, my curiosity led me to study neuroscience at the University of Chicago to better understand how the spaces we create, the environments we live in, and, most importantly, the communities we build affect us on a deeper level. Now, I'm focused on exploring and communicating the essential role of community in shaping society across all levels.

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In my last article, The Power of Belonging - How Community Shapes Our Health and Longevity, we explored how reconnecting with our communities can significantly improve our well-being. Forget the wellness fads - building strong relationships is what really matters.

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As promised, today, we're taking a closer look at what happens inside your brain when you feel connected - and when you don't. It turns out your brain is wired for belonging, and when that connection is missing, it doesn't exactly sit quietly. So, let's explore why your brain craves connection like a toddler craves chocolate and why prioritizing community is essential, both physically and emotionally.

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The Dark Side of Loneliness - A Brain on High Alert

Ah, loneliness.  

That creeping, gnawing feeling that hits when you realize you haven't spoken to anyone in hours (or maybe days). But it's not just in your head - well, actually, it is in your head. But hear me out! When we feel lonely, our brain thinks something is very, very wrong.

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Back in our caveman days, being isolated from the group was a death sentence. No tribe meant no safety from predators (or worse, missing out on the latest gossip about who made the best spear). Fast forward to today, and our brain is still wired for survival. The moment we feel lonely, our body goes into overdrive, releasing cortisol - yes, that delightful stress hormone. Suddenly, you're tense, on edge, and possibly reaching for that second (okay, third) chocolate bar.

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Cortisol was helpful when we had to fight off saber-toothed tigers, but now? Not so much. Chronic loneliness can keep your cortisol levels high, leading to inflammation, weakened immune function, and an increased risk of all sorts of health issues, from heart disease to depression. Who knew that loneliness could have such a ripple effect?

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Journal Article

Loneliness Matters: A Theoretical and Empirical Review of Consequences and Mechanisms

Louise C. Hawkley, Ph.D.,  John T. Cacioppo, Ph.D.

Annals of Behavioral Medicine, Volume 40, Issue 2, October 2010, Pages 218–227, https://doi.org/10.1007/s12160-010-9210-8

Published: 22 July 2010

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Oxytocin - Your Brain's Happy Hormone

Okay, enough about the dark side - let's talk about the good stuff. When you're surrounded by your favorite people, your brain rewards you with a lovely little hormone called oxytocin. You've probably heard of it - some people call it the "love hormone" or "cuddle chemical," but it's much more than that.

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Oxytocin plays a starring role in trust, empathy, and bonding. Whether it's a hug from a close friend, a laugh over coffee, or even a long chat with your neighbor, these interactions release oxytocin, making you feel connected, supported, and less stressed. It's like your brain is giving you a giant thumbs up, saying, "Yes, this is good. More of this, please."

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But oxytocin isn't just for romantic relationships or close friendships. It kicks in when we connect with anyone - even a quick smile at a stranger can trigger a small boost. So, next time you're at the grocery store, flash that friendly smile. Your brain (and theirs) will thank you!

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Dopamine - Your Brain's Way of Saying "Well Done"

Next up on our brain tour: dopamine. This one is often thrown around in conversations about rewards and for a good reason. Dopamine is your brain's way of giving you a little pat on the back. When you do something that feels good - whether it's acing a project at work or just having a great chat with a friend - dopamine levels spike, leaving you with that satisfied "I'm awesome" feeling.

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But dopamine isn't just about momentary happiness. It plays a critical role in regulating several bodily functions, including movement, attention, learning, and mood. When your brain releases dopamine in response to positive interactions, it doesn't just boost your mood; it also has long-term effects that can contribute to better health:

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- Enhanced motivation and productivity: Dopamine promotes motivation, encouraging you to engage in activities that bring a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. This boost can lead to healthier habits, like exercising regularly or sticking to goals.

- Stress reduction: Positive doses of dopamine can counteract stress by reducing the impact of cortisol, the body's main stress hormone. Regular positive social interactions that trigger dopamine release can help lower overall stress levels.

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- Improved cognitive function: Dopamine also helps with learning and memory. Higher levels of dopamine improve focus and cognitive flexibility, allowing you to think more clearly and make better decisions.

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- Better physical health: While dopamine is primarily known for its psychological effects, it also has indirect physical health benefits. When you feel motivated and happy, you're more likely to engage in activities that improve your overall health - whether it's exercising, eating well, or maintaining positive habits.

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However, loneliness causes dopamine levels to drop. Without social interactions and a sense of belonging, the brain stops giving you those rewarding dopamine hits, and everything starts to feel a bit… blah. This is why loneliness can lead to feelings of hopelessness and a lack of motivation. Basically, your brain says, "No friends, no fun."

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On the flip side, when you belong to a community, your brain rewards you. You feel energized, engaged, and, well, alive. That's why even small social interactions can have a huge impact on your mood and overall health. Dopamine is like your brain's personal cheerleader, shouting, "You've got this!"

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Breaking the vicious cycle: The interplay between loneliness, metabolic illness, and mental health

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Who's Most at Risk of Losing That Sense of Connection?

So, now we know why our brains are so desperate for connection. But who's most at risk of losing that vital sense of belonging?

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- Young Adults (19-29): Yes, the generation that's always glued to their phones is actually the most prone to loneliness. Sure, they're connected online, but digital interactions don't always translate into real-life connection. It's like getting fast food instead of a home-cooked meal - satisfying for a second, but not nourishing.

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- The Elderly: As people age, their social circles naturally shrink, making them particularly vulnerable to loneliness. Retirement, the loss of loved ones, and reduced mobility can all contribute to a sense of isolation.

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- Immigrants and Expats: Moving to a new country is exciting, but it often means leaving behind established social networks. Without local connections, immigrants and expats can feel isolated, even when they're surrounded by people. As an expat myself, I've experienced this firsthand. Despite the excitement of living in a new place, finding a sense of belonging can be incredibly challenging. This personal struggle is perhaps one of the reasons why I've become so deeply committed to exploring this topic - because I know how vital community is, especially when you're trying to build one from scratch in a foreign environment.

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- Women vs. Men: Research suggests that loneliness affects men and women differently. While women are often better at maintaining social networks and seeking emotional support, men are more prone to social isolation as they age. Men tend to rely on fewer close friendships and, in many cases, their spouses for emotional connection. As a result, after major life changes like divorce or the loss of a partner, men are at higher risk of becoming isolated. Women, on the other hand, though often better socially connected, may still experience loneliness, particularly during transitions such as motherhood or career changes, when social roles shift.

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Perspective Article

Front. Psychiatry, 08 March 2023

Sec. Public Mental Health

Volume 14 - 2023 | https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2023.1134865

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Let's Wrap This Up - Your Brain Needs You to Belong

There you have it - your brain isn't just politely asking for connection; it's practically begging for it. From oxytocin's calming effects to dopamine's motivation boost, your brain is designed to thrive on social interaction. Loneliness, on the other hand, throws everything into disarray, cranking up stress and dialing down motivation.

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The good news? You don't need to move to a Blue Zone to experience the benefits of connection. It's as simple as reaching out to a friend, joining a group, or even chatting with your neighbor. Your brain will reward you, and who knows? You might just find yourself feeling healthier, happier, and more alive than ever.

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Up Next in This Series…

In the next chapter, we'll explore a growing trend in modern life - co-living. Could this be the answer to our deep need for connection? Stay tuned as we dive into how co-living is redefining family and community in our ever-changing world.

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