Let me tell you about my assistant, Jonathan Paris.

He saves my life daily, yet I have never met him.

He keeps my schedule in check, reminds me to eat, and somehow knows exactly when I need a witty response to an email. And yet, for all his efficiency, he will never pat me on the back after a long day, give me a reassuring squeeze on the arm, or offer a comforting hug.  

And yes, I know I keep nagging about this topic, but bear with me - because science is backing me up here.

In a world where work meetings happen on screens, friendships exist in message threads, and AI is trying (and failing) to be our emotional support system, physical connection is slipping through our fingers.   

Despite all the convenience technology brings, research keeps proving that nothing- absolutely nothing - can replace the power of human touch.  

The Science of Touch - Your Brain on Connection  

Touch isn’t just a social nicety; it’s a biological necessity. When someone you trust gives you a hug, a high-five, or even just a reassuring pat on the back, your brain releases oxytocin - aka the “bonding hormone.” This little chemical is responsible for making you feel safe, reducing stress, and increasing trust.   

Meanwhile, touch also lowers cortisol (the stress hormone), regulates heart rate, and even strengthens the immune system. Research has found that infants who receive physical affection develop stronger emotional resilience, and adults who get regular touch are generally less anxious, less depressed, and - let’s be real - less likely to pick fights with customer service over minor inconveniences. (Yes, we can all relate.) 

The takeaway? Touch is a survival mechanism.

And yes, that means your AI-powered meditation app telling you to “breathe deeply” is no substitute for an actual hug.   

Why Digital Interactions Don’t Cut It   

We live in an era where most of our interactions happen through screens.

Text messages replace face-to-face conversations; emoji reactions stand in for actual facial expressions and virtual hugs… well, they do absolutely nothing.  

That said, the digital tools we have today also allow us to stay connected with loved ones when we are far apart.

When I moved from Sweden to Alaska for research studies as a 22-year-old, there was no FaceTime, no video calls, and certainly no AI-generated voice notes keeping me in the loop. Long-distance calls were expensive, and emails just weren’t the same as hearing a familiar voice from a parent in real-time.

So, while technology has made it easier to stay in touch across distances, it still doesn’t replace the warmth of being in the same room with someone you love.   

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Ever notice how a hug feels entirely different from a “thinking of you” text?

That’s because our nervous systems are wired to respond to real-world presence. In-person connection triggers a cascade of biological responses - heart beat synchronisation, subtle shifts in body language, even changes in brain activity - that simply don’t happen through a screen.   

And before you say it - yes, VR developers are working on simulated touch. But unless someone invents a way for technology to genuinely replicate the warmth and weight of a friend’s hand in yours, we’re still going to have a problem.  

The Touch Deficit - What Happens When We Don’t Get Enough?  

Society has been gradually cutting down on physical interaction for years - more remote work, less time in communal spaces, and a general tendency to avoid unnecessary human contact (especially in awkward elevator rides).

The result? A growing epidemic of loneliness and touch deprivation.   

Lack of physical contact has been linked to increased stress, anxiety, depression, and even a shorter lifespan. Some experts argue that being touch-starved is as detrimental as sleep deprivation or poor nutrition.  

This is something I explored in Reconnecting in the Age of AI -How the Digital Era is Fuelling a Return to Real Human Connection. While AI-driven tools have made staying in touch easier than ever, they’ve also made real-world interaction feel optional.

Spoiler: It’s not!! NOT!! 

Let’s Wrap This Up   

So, what’s the solution?

As AI continues to make its way into every aspect of life, we need to be intentional about prioritising physical connection.   

Cities, workplaces, and community spaces should be designed to encourage real human interaction. Social norms might need a reset - less time glued to screens, more time in shared spaces where organic connection happens.

And on a personal level? Maybe it’s time to stop putting off that coffee date and actually go.  

Because, at the end of the day, AI can’t replicate the warmth of another human being.

And if we don’t fight to keep physical connection alive, we might just wake up one day realising we’ve let it slip away.  

And that, my friends, is something worth holding onto.  

Lots of love,

Stina  

PS. This is something I will keep writing and talking about- because real-life connection, belonging, and being part of a community are fundamental to who we are.

So, if this resonates with you, follow me on this journey as we explore how to create spaces, relationships, and lives that bring us together.  

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